September 16, 2014


16 Gerra 16 Valadian.

Only a filthy ass, ugly and dusty piece of shit from Africa would come to America with the sole purpose of failing people as a professor. While I can honestly say that I may have had one really good  African instructor, this one should have been kept indigent and belligerent, running around in the dust of the subsaharan Sahel with nothing but something to keep his junk from being seen by mankind. He laughs at a class that does not understand anything he is saying because of his ridiculously thick and disgusting ethnic accent. He laughs at students who are seriously making the effort to learn something  and cannot because we are subjected to his mediocrity as a teacher. He is neither worth the title, nor the salary that he drains from people who must pay all of this back. Not to mention he has completely disrupted my plan to graduate in December, so I may as well prepare to have my time in school extended another semester, just to accommodate this class that I will pretty much have to repeat. Regardless of whether that grade is a W or an F. I am so upset right now that I ended up returning to Foxy Loxy, sitting around all these fake ass faggots whose voices turn my stomach and provoke every muscle in my body. Is it wrong to want to beat the living shit out of one of them? No... Beat the fake shit out of them until they are faced with physical flaws that will leave them with no choice but to embrace humility and cultivate the degree of substance that I have always had.

I'm so fucking mad right now... God if I had published my first book and was making mad money off of my royalties, I would literally have thrown my shit across that African instructors room and told him to take his nigger ass back to Africa because we don't need anymore mediocre teachers in America. We have enough and it is a big enough problem already. We don't need his ugly ass behind making that worse. Got me over here drinking a whole gotdamn bottle of Moscato trying to deal with the repercussions of this. That's alright because I'm going to praise God and get my books back. Now let me make a phone call just to see if it is at least on its way.

September 15, 2014


15 Gerra 15 Valadian.

I feel incredible. My refund is here and bills are getting paid. Life is finally improving and my books, worlds, everything that made me whole is coming back to me! I feel so damn wonderful right now that I am literally too ecstatic to sit still, much less even think about everything that has burdened my mind and heart in the past few weeks. I have only my Heavenly Father to thank for everything. He truly knows and understands all that I have been going through and with His continued guidance and Divine Intervention, I firmly believe that not only will things get much better, but I will be so filled with His Grace and Mercy that I'll be too restless with joy and ecstasy to facilitate the patience for a man's so-called "interest." I am walking all over this café as if everyone in here should be thankful that I am in their presence! I mean, after all these years of suffering, I have evolved into the epitome of beauty! I am an intrinsic soul, deep, passionate, humble, and beautiful, yet I am stronger than any man you'll ever meet. I feel so powerful. I don't even know what to do with all this power. All this energy. I feel like working out with more effort and intensity that I have ever done!

I am celebrating. I am celebrating the homecoming of my people and my worlds, the beginning of recovery for me, and the strength that I have as an individual. I am so incredibly independent and far more powerful than these faggots around me. Unlike them, I never needed a man to love me to get through life. Now I realize that all of this suffering and anguish was to cultivate who I am right now. I am love. I am strength. I am beauty. I am closer to perfection than I will ever find in a man. Which is probably why I will never be satisfied with anyone or anything, because there isn't a mortal that can match everything that I am amassed of.